"I know the last page so well, I cant read the first"

I just really want to be alone. I just dont want to deal with anymore heartache, anymore pain, anymore men taking me for granted. I suppose that for the most part it is me...i am not ready to find someone new yet. And that is ok. But sometimes I still feel like i am not worth it. Today I broke down into tears, with thoughts wizzing through my head about my self-worth. It is hard to find someone new when your past has got you trapped into believing your not fantastic. In retrospect I dont suppose that any of this matters because deep deep down I know the truth. I am fantastic. I suppose that i am just having a rough day. I really truly just want to get my debt paid off so that i can go to Costa Rica and take that class, get a job teaching, and travel alot. More Europe, Africa, Austrailia, India, and then at some point back here. I dont really want to do all this traveling alone but I dont mind if that is my only option. Which right now, It is. My only problem right now, the only thing holding me back is my dog (but I will work that out). Wish me luck everyone...this is my dream...may i see it through.