Who's presence in your life has inspired you...who do you love to be around simply because they bring out the best in you and all you do? Who makes you happy, when you are around them you feel like you are floating?

Times they are a changin

Hmmm. hopefully for the good. I am not really sure what to say about anything but so far I am really looking forward to forward progress whatever that may mean. I have been really happy...and a little sad at the same time, but this is good. There is nothing really New to say except that I am really looking forward to the new year, my party, a great play(the santaland diaries), old friends, and new ones, letting go of the past, and looking forward into whatever the future may bring. I am exceptionally happy right now that is all I can really say.

Today has been a really FANTASTIC day! yep. yep.

why dont i want to talk about anything right now? I really have a million things to say but for some reason i cant put them into words...although somehow I believe that i know the reason and wish that i could come to a resolution or a conclusion. This entry makes no sense to anyone but myself, i believe. Hopefully the new year will bring about some changes. I have never been the sort of person to lie, deny how I feel, or decieve anyone I know, of this I am most certain. I have been more forgiving than i believe was warranted.
I feel that some people will never understand me and somehow a few people have understood me right away...and when someone gets me it makes me incrediably happy. I am not sure at this moment what I am getting at. Hopefully i can make more sense of it later and someone will understand it in some time to come.

All you need is love...

happy merry chrisakwansahannakah! I love you all. Hope everyone has a really great holiday...see you all soon.

This week has been a bit of a stress for me...making christmas gifts(a bigger pain than i had anticipated), trying to work doubles, get in my running, paying the bills, etc. Laurie and I have spent a few nights up really late with a bottle of wine and a project in our hands(we are almost done!) And, so apparently I am supposed to be hosting New Year's at my house this year. 5 bucks a head(keg and Champagne)(this may be too crazy for me)(but at least i dont have to drive, Right?) Whose Coming? Let me know.
At this point I may be too tired to actually organize this, I may just need a party to go to, but if people will come then I will try.

So, In my head for quite some time I have been obsessing(umm as most of you know) about things that i have no control over and things that really need to be buried...So ONE more resolution...Please stop and just be happy, nothing is wrong and nothing is likely to change, you have done nothing wrong, you Must remember that! Thank You.

Because this is THRILLER...

thriller night. Deedee, Laurie, and I make complete fools of ourselves tonight dancing to The Footloose and the Thriller Soundtracks. Gaud, the fun we can make of ourselves and the stuff we grew up on. Love It. Everybody cut loose!

I have my running puppy! Liam went to run with Laurie and I today and did great off his leash. That makes me really happy! Yay! for outdoor fun with my dog.

Sim-ply hav-ing a wonderful christmas time...

Lots of Great Thoughts-
School is done. I have completed yet another semester. I think I may just get an A in both classes...hard work may pay off. Another one of my regulars gave me a christmas card(25 bucks included!) I have finally started to catch up with my bills, here's hoping I continue to progress. I have lost 4 lbs on the run fast diet. My puppy is getting so big. My favorite manager Paul is back at El Arroyo(thank heavens). I like my new Job. AND I CAN AFFORD COFFEE!
Things to look forward to-
37th street christmas lights, The Santaland Diaries, New Years Eve, My BIRTHDAY(and all of you better be there), Going to the Dog park with Laurieloo, Great girl nights, A month off from school, and finding a date to the prom.
New Year's Resolutions-
To stay possitive, Read lots of great books, Take even a short trip somewhere, Spend more time with the ones I love, find someone to kiss at midnight, To get love right(eventually i will), But most of all...to take care of myself, believe in myself, and never give in to fear, because that is the biggest step.

You DO know when It's real.

sometimes, a show alone is just what I need. I saw Wendy Colona tonight. I thought i would only get to watch 30min but she played for an extra 45min. It was so great that at one point, and after, I cried (sobbing?) . Amazing. I love my music. I love Austin. And i Love Those That I Love... and for good reason, and this I will never forget. Sometimes you receive no love in return but the love you have for others is all that really matters. Mwah. Love You All.

Today has proved to be extemely uneventful. *sigh*
I am a bit melancholy but ok. Tonight I am going to desperately try to get out of work in time to catch Wendy Colona's show at Momo's. I need to spend a night alone and great music always helps.

Some of my regulars gave me a christmas present today...I wanted to cry it was so sweet of them.
Oh how lucky I am.

*sigh*

What do you need?

I need to get my head out of the clouds. I need to start letting all the ridiculous walls down. And the exceedingly high expectations of myself and others. I need to change what makes me unhappy and hold on to the things that matter. I need to let go. To remember. To forget. To smile. To spend more time doing the things I love. And loving the things I do. I need to let my friends know how much they mean to me. I need to stop being afraid. I need to go out on a date. I need to have no expectations. I need to take my dog to the park. Take a walk. Go for a drive. Buy a new cd. Put things in there place, including thoughts and dreams. I need to never stop dreaming or hoping. I need to stop having unrealistic ideas. I need to stop writing this for now and start doing these things.

oh the humanity

So last night John and I spent the evening up till four in the morning Drinking Starbucks...Navigating Trecherous Highways...And the Internet...so that i would be prepared for my speech today. And I come to find out that after all our hard work, school is canceled for the day...damn! And not because now I have extra time to practice and improve it before I have to present it.
People on the roads scare me...we get a little ice and everyone panics.
On another note... have you ever(im sure you have) looked at the groceries of the person in front or behind you in the checkout line...pets, do they live alone, what they read; strangely you can find out quite a bit about a person just from the checkout line.

-I have the most thoughtful, caring people in my life.
-Thank you

So Mel's parents are great! We all had a great time laughing and Joking and filling them in on Laurie and I. Mel and her mom have the same laugh, which I think is absolutely adorable. The food was not so good, thanks Fridays. But conversation did well to cover up the blandness and rawness of our plates. I had a great time.

Nervous.

So Laurie and I are supposed to meet Mel's parents this weekend. I have known her for about five or six years now and I am nervous. It is almost like meeting your boyfriends folks and hoping for approval (*bites nails*) Seriously, they have heard about us for years and now Laurie and I have one lunch or dinner date to Prove our worth to there daughter. lol. Actually it is very exciting. And i am sure we wont have a problem. At least Laurie wont. On another note. I think it is incrediably cute that Laurie and I carpool to work together since we work right next door to each other.
And I think that so far I like my new Job, it is going well.

Ahhhhh.

I love it when music gives me goosebumps or makes me blush, because it is so pretty or amazing.

The Drifting Tide.

Caught in a whirlwind, barreling down
Faster and Faster towards an invisable ground.
One moment you are floating, in another instance you fall
you even reach stretches when you feel vastly empty, without any thought at all.
You reach forth for the truth, so you may never live a lie.
A peace you find within yourself becomes a tear you cannot cry.
An ocean lies between two shores and somehow still they touch
A truth that once you knew has simply become lost. A shallow well that began to fill had soon filled too much.
The rain poured down endlessly till there was not a place to hide.
And when the sun began to show we simply find, the truth was already lost in the exiting tide.
Where to find it, could we reach the far away shore?
Or should it simply be allowed to drift and maybe it will, one day, lap your beach once more.

molly 05.