the searching for love series

So i have recently decided that it is in my best interest to write down what it is that i want out of life. So that my universe can get to work on bringing it to me. So here goes.

I want to be a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines. I have become discouraged here lately but truth is...this is the airline i want to work for...no other, so why would i go somewhere else to find a job. I will be a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines.


I want to be successful in life, love, friendships, being myself, being kind.

I want to travel the world and see new places and make new friends. I want to do this alone, with my friends, maybe someone special.

I want to be able to do all of this and still love and take care of Liam.

I want my condition to disappear and never come back.

i havent written much lately. But i am in a strange place in my life. I am not sure what direction i am headed. I have sort of lost a spin on things. My car is broken and my world is a mess. I didnt start school on Monday cause i couldnt get there. Hopefully i can get my head on straight and start my life in the right direction. Less drinking, which i havent been doing a lot of and more working and playing. I need to graduate and take a vacation. Then get a job.

Things don't always work out. But we are always going somewhere and everywhere. I am really happy with my world right now. Things aren't perfect but they are close. I am having a great time. And i am ridiculously excited about the things waiting around the corner for me. Because i know they are going to be amazing! It's weird because i feel like my whole world is about to change. I am about to experience more than i ever have before and that is a wonderful feeling. I have no place to look but up. :)

Into the Wild

Amazing Movie, Great company.

p.s... go see it.

El Futuro, El Pasado.

I find that looking back on my life trying figure out what it is that i have learned over the course of my life is strange. It is always hard to believe that one has come so far. Even if I only go back ten years. Amazing. I havent really had an major expectations or asperations for myself so i cannot say that i am disappointed at where i am at. I dont know what is in store but for once i am really excited about it. It changes everyday!

quite obviously, right now i am avoiding the inevitable...studying for my physics test. I have already had one test this morning and in t-minus 3hrs and counting i have another test in Physics. So i really suppose that i should stop typing and go study. And i am sad because i really want to go to gingerman tonight but my friends are mostly busy. So it appears i might have to celebrate alone. :(

What is it about being drunk and having a "fabulous" time that makes people..ie myself make the worst decisions? That is all.

Movies!

Tonight i saw the most awesome, amazing movie. It gave me goosebumps! So lovely and strangely uplifting. Anyways it was called "Once" and if you have not had the pleasure of seeing it DO!

who wants to be a simpson? Oooh oohh i do

I will have what i want

I want a love that is never boring and predictable but is simple. I want love that is amazing and not just easy, the kind of love you never forget no matter how hard you try. I want something that is unbelievably right. I want love that is easy and difficult at the same time. I want time, god how i want time for us, and for me, and for him. I want someone who can easily tell me he needs time without hurting me. I want to love what i do everyday of my life. I want to enjoy every second, every moment i have here. I want to never be angry. I want to see the world. i want time at home, where it is at the time. I want to hurt until I cant take it anymore and then realize my happiness. I want to walk in the rain. I want to feel the sunshine on my face. I want music. I want to inspire people. I want someone to inspire me. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who loves me so much it hurts and isnt afraid to show me. I want to love someone so much it hurts and not be afraid to show it. I want long hikes. I want camping under the stars. I want endless sunsets. I want to treat someone so incrediably that they cant stand it. I want time with my friends. I want picnics. I want weekends at the beach. I want solitary car rides. I want someone to tell stories to, someone who listens. I want to listen. I want beautiful flowers. I want to fly. I want sleep. I want dreams. I want a neverending love that REALLY never ends. I want second chances. I want to deserve second chances. I want to sip wine. I want to write. I want to always remember. I want to dream. I want to live my dreams. I want a not so perfect love, that wants my not so perfect love.

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you for how you are, not how you look. But deep down, you know that's not exactly true. Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

finally

i finally slept last night for once in a few days. I had the most vivid dreams and i woke up this morning sad. I dont want to be sad. I have to go for a run.

yesterday was insane...school was the biggest hassel. I was enrolled in the wrong class, i had to talk to the dean, then the assistant dean, then the dean again. But i got the issue resolved. And while most of this was going on and pretty much most of the day, i talked to my lovely friend Kimmie. Which helped me quite tremendously in my current circumstances.

I am sooo tired. Tired of dealing with emotional things in my life. And just plain tired. I just want to feel numb right now. Just for a little while.

If love really was like it is in the movies...then i wouldn't be in the place that i am now. And the truth is...I know exactly where it is that i would be.

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Stranger than Fiction...

a really great movie i saw last night. I really enjoyed the screenplay alot. And of course it left me feeling really great when i leaving the theater. Upliftting.

argh...a three mile run and i am exhausted but so is my dog. Life is good.

i am in a good place right now. I bit confused...caught in a whirlwind...floating...falling...but i've lost the fear of the end.
I'm not looking for miracles, i'm just happy with now. A wonderful place to be, a vast and endless ocean with no storms in sight.

ACL, ACL, woohoo! yAY! just a few more days! yes!