There are 1000 things that i wish i could say right here right now. But i just cant. I had a really long talk with my roomate tonight about where i need to be in life emotionally right now and why I need to stop blaming myself for things that obviously are not my fault. I think I know what to do. And she fully supports me. And yet i dont know where any of my decisions will lead me but that is the way it is. I am tired of being stagnent and bottled up. Which is what i have been for a very long time, and i need to let go of a lot of fears and resentments before I can move forward. But, in a way, that sounds like taking a leap off a mountain and not knowing whether or not my parachute will open. I know that is the way i used to and should continue to live so here goes. I hope.