Satisfy my Soul...

I have been thinking alot about where I went wrong or simply where things turned and went. It is strange when someone who used to let you know everything, shuts down and hides all their feelings inside. You believe that you know how they really feel but it is just that, A belief. And now the question is, does it matter anymore? Well, the answer is of course. But the problem is that you have run smack dab into a huge wall and the door to the other side can only be opened with some help. But you are the only one pulling.
And at some point you are exhausted and cant pull alone anymore. So then the question becomes should you give up? And you dont know how to give up but you dont know how to keep going.
In the past I have been pouring my heart into getting this door open. Pulling, waiting, trying to be there in any way that I was allowed. Trying to prove myself. But still the door is closed.
In the end I dont know how to prove myself except for just being me, being loving, being a friend, being honest, and communicating how I feel. If this isnt enough then I have to walk around the wall on my own. Which I never wanted to do. But how long is too long? Inside I know that I have so much love to give but I need to be giving it to someone who wants it from me...someone who appreciates me, who doesnt take me for granted. Someone who loves me back without fear. Someone who, well, just loves me. Through all my faults, through every bad day and every good one, through every bump in the road, through every boulder. Someone who believes that no matter how hard it may be at times, they feel that I am worth it. Someone who includes me in there plans or at least wants to include me. And realizes it. I know it is possible for someone to feel this way about me because I have felt the same for someone. And deep down I still havent given up hope but when someone tells me to go, what else can I do? No matter what your heart wants, you have to be listening to hear.