not all who wander are lost

i am wandering through this life just hoping for the things that make me happy...it's not to hard to know what these things are when you find them...suppose it is the search that makes it difficult...so instead of searching i suppose i will keep wandering.

A dust covered window obstructs the view...
and somewhere on the opposite side...a endless sky of blue.
A shattered heart conceals the truth...
a miraculous passion within the depths of you.
A fearful soul disguises the way...
to an endless road of happiness, one can only really know today.
A bitter past shrouds a hopeful future
with the dismal convictions of what cannot be.

Were one to wake each morning with thoughts of only the day ahead.
And lay down to rest with simply the intention of tomorrow.
To forget the mysterious future with thoughts of only here and now.

To never fear tomorrow is to know we can only be alive in this moment.
Silence the shattered heart, for it is your past.
Quiet the fearful soul, for it speaks not for today.
Listen only to the blissful heart for it speaks of what we know to be.
A love we have found within ourselves, a future that is impossible to see.
This very moment in time is all that can matter if a heart is truly allowed to be free.


Molly 2009

figured it out

So for once in my life i think i have really finally figured a few things out. Good things

Goals for the Next year...

Read my friends and realized i should have my own.

1. Go to Vegas, Denver, and Costa rica(for a month) in March.
2. Get a job with southwest airlines.
3. Work on going back to school.
4. Always be myself...no matter what.
5. Love as much as I can...
6. Be passionate about life.

I should just buy this ticket

Holy crap i found a multicity ticket to vegas, denver, costa rica, and back to austin for about $550. i need to just buy this ticket and that will make me bust my ass and save the money that i need to head to costa rica for a month and a week in the other cities. Holy shit!!! I am excited. If the price is the same at the end of the week i am just going to buy it. Hooray me!!!

so costa rica...when shall i see you again.

I have not been able to get into a cedra study or save an obscene amount of money...so costa rica seems to get pushed back over and over again. When will i see it again. It appears it will be sometime this summer...and i will be going even if only for two weeks. I am going to push for april or may. Wish me luck.

I have made a decision

When i get into this study that i have signed up for on next tuesday. And i am sure that i am officially a subject and not a backup. I will be purchasing my ticket to costa rica for late January. That way i will have to get my ass on saving for the trip and have no way of postponing it back month after month. This i believe is a good plan.

could you be loved?

So the results are in...and the word precancerous has reared its ugly little head. While i am reassured that it is mearly PRE...i cannot shake the C-word following it up so closely. i have to say that i am more than a little bit freaked out but i also feel that i am coping rather well. Although part of that coping comes from avoiding thinking about it.

Officially awful days

Doctor's. Ugh. yuck. All i will say is that i do not like the girl doctor.

I wish, I wish, I wish...

For sooo many things right now. For the money to go to Costa Rica, to not have to deal with any problems that start with the C word, Even wishes as simple as getting to spend this evening with a great guy. Maybe even for the desire to write some more poetry, it has been a long time since i've written anything at all.

Why of why wont they let me fly?

So as i and the rest of the country are already aware...the economy is not so good. With our severe dependence on foreign oil we are slipping in so many industries. I am sure that in a year or so our economy will begin to turn around and face the right direction again...well maybe not "SURE" but definatly optomistic about it doing so. The only way in which it is affecting me in my current situation is that things are more expensive and i havent been able to get a job with SWA let alone an interview. But im holding out, knowing that i a year or so they will lift the hiring freeze and i will be on my way "free to move about the county"
As for everything else in my world...it is great. I have a neato new apt that will be costing me less money. I am taking care of a few health issues. And i am dating someone new :)

acl bound

So usually i am super excited about the arrival of ACL and for some reason i am sort of "cool" about this year. I should or would have already been there at this time every year previously. but there really isnt anyone i want to see until about three. Oh and i brilliantly forgot my ticket so i have to return home to retrieve it soon. But first...lunch, coffee, and a few words. I am sure that when i arrive at Zilker the feeling will change and i will be super excited but until then i will continue to be hungover from too much fun last night.
Also...i feel that i overanalyze every aspect of my life. I am continually too hard on myself. I have to say that i am ridiculously happy right now but that i worry too much. I am working on putting those thoughts aside every time they appear but I have been a worrier for so long that i find it a bit difficult of a habit to break. But I quit smoking, which was a hard habit to break, so i am sure that i can accomplish this one as well. Hooray Life!!! Life is pretty freaking awesome.

Ideas that work

So far it seems there is only one puzzle piece missing in my life. Come on puzzle piece! How can the fantastic life of fiery red be the most fantastic successfull life ever if you are not in the puzzle? I know that it will happen. I has already begun to unfold so i just need to wait for the rest of it to fall into place. All the pieces are their they just need to be connected.

How Much

How much coffee can i drink in one sitting. Answer...too much and still counting.
I had a really long day at work and tomorrow is the dreaded double. I am in avoidance of packing the apartment for the big move in 10 days. I am nervous and ridiculously excited about the whole thing.
Cha Cha changes. Moving, The big ACL weekend. Starting a new job. Going back to school. Life, love. Hmmm.
as always leaving things as vague as possible.

Also

I found a great site that allows me to go through all the airlines web pages and check to see who is hiring. :)

the future

Sooo... I have bought my Spanish Immersion course and i have also figured out how much more i need to save in the next few months to head to costa rica for a month. The plan at current is to leave November 19 and return on December 24. I have not yet bought my ticket but i really should. I plan to as soon as I move into my new apartment here in a couple weeks. I need to do a least one more study before i leave in November and that should take care of it.
WooHoo!!! I have to say that i am super excited.
I also am really anticipating getting some sort of information from southwest airlines. I letter. Just something. Come on people at southwest give a girl a chance.

ACL

So i have just recently realized that i am going to be moving the day after ACL weekend...which is a huge bummer. I need time to recoupe from the festivities but alas it appears that will not be the case this year. Ah ACL how i love the. Moving how i loathe thee. New apartment how i anticitpate thee. South Austin how i have missed thee. Too bad i cant move before that weekend. I will somehow try to fenagle a way to do that but if i cannot hopefully my moving buddies will not be suffering the same fate. Thank you to all my moving folks in advance for the help. I shall pack well so that the move is as painless as possible.

who knew...

That i had wireless poolside at my apt complex. So yeah...i should have assumed and checked but i didnt think about it until today. But at least i realized it. Right. :D I am super happy and i cant tell you why. I just am. I see really amazing places and moments ahead in my future and in everyday. I am just smiling and dont know why. It is an awesome feeling i have to say. Sure i feel there are a few things i wnat in life...like everytime a plane flies overhead...or everytime i think of well ...but those are easily changed and just something i need to wait for and i dont mind waitin awhile for some of the most important things in life...they are worth waiting for.

Hot!! NO it really is.

my dog is hot, i am hot(in the conventional sense, i am not being concieted :D)
*chews on ice* I love ice but others say it will ruin my teeth. I guess by that theory i love ruining my teeth *chews on ice*
I wish i could write one of those fantastically funny blogs that everyone has to go read because it makes them laugh on a daily basis, your DAILY DOSE of Fiery Red if you will.
So i have started a journal and Im back up blogging for the world to read *waves* "Hellllooo World" Fiery red likes the world no matter what anyone says about it being mean and evil. I think the only mean and evil come from people who dont like the world.

I want to go to the beach and lay in the sand for awhile, *stares blankly*
I suppose i am the only one stopping me in the dream and the pursuit of sand in my bodily crevasses. But i need that sand darnit. And maybe a cold delicious pina colado to go along with it or something with fresh strawberries and bananas. Wait a freakin minute! Why am i sitting here writing all this instead i should be surfing the web for an awesome sand filled crevasse getaway! Ciao! :D

One Day

So i suppose one day the title of my blog will begin to make sense to even me. At this point i am not writing about every town along the way. I have not been anywhere on a trip in a very long time but soon. I plan on heading back to costa rica for about a month since the last time i was there was not the most awesome time it could have been. But with the idea of moving forward i will go back again and do it right. Enjoy the beach And most of AlL ENJOY MYSELF. Something i have been working very hard on doing lately. ENJOYING MYSELF. I am still waiting for Southwest to call me and i am wondering if i should apply with some other airlines or wait it out since i reeeallly want to work for Southwest specifically.

It is hot here in Texas