Counting Crows last night=Awesome. Trip in 10 days= Awesome
Me= Awesome ;-)

I love this song.

Harvest Moon ;-) Neil Young.

Things i need to practice harder at...

Practice Gratitude when you feel good and when you feel unfulfilled
Clear the Path, let go of relationships, things and habits that aren't serving growth
Observe without attachment or taking things personally
Let go of the "story" and the expected 'outcome' of everything (being selective here doesn't work)
Tell the truth
Notice the dance between your faith and your action
Recognize the information within and around you
Align with Integrity
Channel Creativity
Love Completely from whatever distance is appropriate

I AM a woman.

Without super powers or surgery i have no way of changing this... Often i try...i do try...i really try...but in the end i AM, well, I am just, Deep down, just me...me. My feelings get hurt, i over analyze(and try to under analyze to make up for it). I THINK about everything way too much...I TALK...all the time...I listen because i care ...I try to work out everything OUTLOUD!
I cry, I pout, I...am, well, a woman...something I take a great deal of pride in, actually...simply because...I AM A WOMAN...I feel, I feel too much, I love, love too much, i see, I see too much...I talk, I talk way too much. This is...is...ME. I am the person i am, And simply because i choose to be..........me. I could try even harder to be less of who i am but the truth is....why not Talk too much, feel too much, love too much, think too much, analyze too much....why not?...just live as much as you can, Live as much as you are allowed? I see no reason to be less of the person i have grown to be.

Away We Go

tonight...8pm.
I'll tell you about it later.

Loved it, loved it, loved it (enough to see it again)did i mention that i loved it...dave eggers and Vendela Vida you rock.

Is this my Answer?

Horoscope Capricorn-

Sure, you have a lot of decisions to make right now -- but don't think that you have to spend the same amount of time making each one! Prioritize and act more quickly than you usually do. Don't waste too much time mulling things over. Your gut is going to help you make the right choices, so use it. Too much research and deliberation will paralyze you. Act without really knowing what outcome will be, and things will be most favorable for you.

something has got to give

I feel as if life as i know it right now needs some remodeling.
And i don't mean the go out and by a new outfit or a cool lamp kind of remodeling.
I am chewing on the idea of going back to school and getting another degree.
But mainly what i want is some change in my everyday life...i am verging on being dog tired. I am not unhappy, on the contrary, i am very happy with most of my world currently. But, I need to acquire a new position in life. I require some bearing, focus, intent, I am simply adrift at the moment and i am growing weary. I don't know if what I NEED is a new job but i am feeling that the scale is tipping in that direction. So it seems i need to sit down or stand up and figure out exactly what all of this means and DO something about it!

This song makes me happy.

Joe Purdy-Wash Away

My House This lovely saturday...

What i'm listening to...

David gray- you're the world to me

What i'm looking at...
There is even dog hair in my flowers :-)

Heat advisory in Texas...it is going to be hot in Texas today...TIPS ON HOW TO KEEP COOL...stay inside...thanks for the heads up news team.

A weekend of absolutely no drinking...this SHOULD be a good thing. Right?

Choose Your own Adventure Books...

were awesome as well...

Willow Davis Roberts

When i was a kid she was quite possibly my favorite writer.

simple as it should be
Tristan Prettyman

A day with with the Dad

Had a blast with my dad last night. I forget how much i really like him. Yes, of course i love him but i really like him too. He is abrasive and loud, he can't tell a story without being extremely passionate. But for some reason it makes me laugh...probably because i see it in myself as well. He has, for the last 14 years or so, been someone with whom i can really just be myself, laugh, talk about the things that bother me, talk about the things that are making me happy, he always knows what to say to make me feel better about any situation, and just generally someone with whom i can have a great time.

a day with the dogs

I love days off. You wake up(whenever you desire), brush your teeth(hopefully, if you still have all of them), and spend you day doing whatever it is your heart fancies(and your pocketbook can handle). You can see whomever you yearn to see. Read anything you have an inclination to read, relax, put your feet up, lay in a hammock(it may be a bit on the warm side here in Texas...100degrees, yowza), Go for a run, picnic in the park or take the dogs out to romp. Catch a movie or take a drive out to the lake...you get the point.
It however is always much better when you have more than one or two days to spend in whatever way seems fitting.

I had lunch today on my break at Baby Greens on South First. It was actually pretty freaking good. I had a great salad with a spicy lime dressing. This was the first time that i have ever eaten here and i must say that i will most definitely return.

"I began dividing life in absolutes... Things and people were either perfectly bad, or perfectly good, and when life didn't obey this black-and-white rule, when things or people were complex or contradictory, I pretended otherwise. I turned every defeat into a disaster, every success into an epic triumph, and separated all people into heroes or villains. Unable to bear ambiguity, I built a barricade of delusions against it. "
— J.R. Moehringer (The Tender Bar: A Memoir)

somebody loved

somebody loved...deb talan

""I hate when people ask what a book is about. People who read for plot, people who suck out the story like the cream filling in an Oreo, should stick to comic strips and soap operas. . . . Every book worth a damn is about emotions and love and death and pain. It's about words. It's about a man dealing with life. Okay?" "
— J. R. Moehringer

Today...I don't believe in saving for retirement

...i believe in living simply for today.
I believe in moments, i believe in minutes, i believe in time. It passes, it never ceases, it lives on beyond mine. I believe in knowing, in wanting, in yearning to define, I believe in relaxing, in searching without reason or rhyme. In poets and painters and artists alike. In wandering; in finding a simplicity in life. I believe in joy and in sorrow...in anger and in fear. In forgetting and forgiving. In what lies in the distance and in what is simply unclear. I believe in you and in me. In our hardship; in our ease. In our yearning and our desire to simply be free.
Molly 09

"Twenty years from now....

... you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

people

People constantly amaze me.
People consistently annoy me.
People rarely shock me.
It is the people who walk gracefully through life that I respect.
I respect the fact that in tough situations certain people carry themselves without ever showing anger or disrespect to anyone.
If only all of us could handle life with such grace.
I know that i definitely do not always know how to accomplish this.
I know that not every situation will please me...i am aware that the only way to handle situations that are making me less than happy would be to remove myself from said situation...however i do not ALWAYS take the graceful way out.
I only wish that i operated in this manner.
And for those whom are graceful, kind, respectful(even when it is less than deserved) i respect you.

ju ju ju di

\
Bob
Just like a woman

Happy 27 Soft as a Kitten.

not so "Important" things

i have an incredible knack for stalling until the very last moment...this in turn causes the chain of events making me about five min late for just about everything i do.
It IS only five minutes but five minutes late is, let's face it, still LATE.
I consciously know that i do this but still have not been able to alleviate the problem.

Now this typically only goes for things that i am not excited to do...for example; work.
To be completely honest most things that i am excited about doing i am usually early.
Meeting someone i like, getting on a plane(cept you have to be early, but i would even if i didnt have to), seeing a movie, catching a train, I think you get the picture.
It gets even worse for things i really don't enjoy doing. I procrastinate things such as getting my car inspected(which i took care of recently, two months late i might add). What i find odd is that i used to be extremely good at taking care of "IMPORTANT" things right away. Don't know why this has changed? Don't get me wrong... I pay my bills, I have not destroyed my credit, or become overly irresponsible. But i have noticed that priorities have changed. I would rather save my money and go on a trip than use it to pay back my credit card and become debt free. I don't know what the point of all this is...it's just something i have noticed about myself in the last few years or so.

Happy Cinco de Mayo (Another excuse to drink Day)

While you enjoy drinking beer today...i will be serving it. ;-) Hooray.

it only took seven years but....

i finally made it onto the El Arroyo sign.

i think for my sanity...i need to get out of town for a bit...take at least a week off and go somewhere inexpensive...but where?

shoo fly don't bother me!!!

it's my cake. and the damn fly keeps trying to make me share. Well news flash to all the flies in the world...i don't like to share my cake. I'll share my garbage or my leftovers but HELL if i will share my cake. So back off!!!

Last night was near perfect...

Cake was awesome!!! I had a blast. And the Mavs finished off the spurs!!!

Cake!!! Tonight!!! don't care which song they play...i love them all!!!

Love you madly
Cake (comfort eagle)

Great bumper sticker the other day.

My Honor Student has a career in the Service Industry

Life is short -- Break the rules! Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

Matt Costa
Yellow Taxi

2-1

GO MAVS!

When you’re searching your soul
When you’re searching for pleasure
How often, pain is all you find
But when you’re coasting along and nobody’s trying too hard
You can turn around and like where you are


The Sundays

IS

leaving

my aunt molly's house always smelled like Lysol disinfectant spray... i miss that smell.
traveling, i would always smell the exhaust from the countless buses and bus stations i spent an immense amount of time traveling through... i know it's strange but...i miss that smell.
I absolutely love the smell of the ocean, the sand. I miss that smell.
Bananas are my absolute favorite fruit, i eat them almost everyday... hopefully i will never miss this smell.


to be continued.

I have an insane desire lately to write...but whenever i sit down and try to write i come up blank. I am trying to overcome this...writers block but the truth is i havent written anything in quite some time that i feel had any substance. *sigh*
I'll figure it out one of these days just as i always do...right now i am just rambling...hoping that in my rambles something amazing will decide to surface...yeah who am i kidding..amazing...i dont think so.

It is time to buy a plane ticket.

Molly kinda wants to go into hiding.

my kids...so to speak.

I absolutely love the spring time...it makes me incredibly happy.

Kitchen Chair

I found this...i wrote it a few years ago and i have to say it is one of my favorites.



There she has sat for many years and doubtless will for more.
Solitary upon her kitchen chair with her eyes directed towards the door.
For a time, she had unquestionable tenderness, that long ago set adrift.
It slipped away not hastily but with each passing tide would shift.
Upon the day it left her she ceased to feel complete.
And now she spends her lonely days perched upon this seat.
Waiting, listless, longing for that feeling of tenderness to return.
But now this task she has set before her remains her one concern.
To wait, to watch, silently in her space.
For another chance, another time or place.
She imagines there it stands, waiting, just out of her sight.
But never leaving her kitchen chair has now become her plight.
To search she feels she musn't. To leave she somehow fears.
What if in her searching it simply returns after all these years.
The longing, completely consuming, the desire always there.
For now she remains waiting, solitary, upon the kitchen chair.

Molly 2007

"Get a Bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live" Mark Twain.

I lived.

I now have too many hangers...and need to go to buffalo exchange with most of the ridiculously large pile of clothes now on my bedroom floor. But first...i am headed to go check out a new camera para mi. Then to the greenbelt with Liam. Then possibly to Ginger man for pint night. Who knows...it is an absolutely gorgeous day outside.

Molly is going to run away

You're Sitting in a chair...IN THE SKY!

I am tired. However i have no desire to sleep. Life is just making me tired. I want it to be June 15th. I want to be on a plane. I want to be trekking through a cloud forest. Or wandering through a loud market. Sleeping in an uncomfortable bed, that makes me homesick. Hiking up a volcano to watch the sunrise. Sitting with my feet in the sand on a beach I've never been to; staring out at the waves crashing. Waking up somewhere new. Riding on a loud uncomfortable bus. Talking to someone I've never met in a language i don't know very well. Writing those i miss. Spending all day walking, taking pictures, experiencing life, eating, seeing...living.

panama

Since i didn't make it down this way last trip to central America...i have decided to add panama to the itinerary

To Do List

1. Purchase plan ticket.
2. Purchase a new camera.
3. Save Mucho Mas dinero. (time to settle down with spending for a bit)
4. Pick up some extra shifts at work.
5. Find a dog sitter for my animal friends.
6. Pack my bags and get ready to go...
7. Cause i'm leavin on a jet plane.

Tell me do you believe
In the girl that is me
With her feet to your feet
Well that’s all that I need

Cause time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be -----Tristan Prettyman

"Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself."
Kahlil Gibran


"Love and doubt have never been on speaking terms."
Kahlil Gibran

Saving the Date.

the date is set...no later than June 15th...that now gives me three months...got to get it together. 2 weeks in Costa Rica and 2 weeks somewhere else.

cause i really liked this one.

human life occurs only once, and the reason we cannot determine which of our decisions are good and which are bad is that in a given situation we can make only one decision; we are not granted a second, third, or fourth life in which to compare various decisions. -milan kundera

the god damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

I have recently been rereading all the posts i have made in the past. It seems, to me at least, that when i first started putting my thoughts down here...my writing was more honest...and sometimes even a tad bit humorous (at least to myself, hey if you can make one person laugh). Maybe, i haven't been taking myself seriously for a long time...whatever the reason, i am disconcerted. And have the desire, need, to change things.
Not even just to change things in this blog but to change things i am doing in my life. I am certain that i have not entirely been taking myself seriously in many aspects for quite some time now. I have been planning a trip for about 8 months now and find that i am no closer to leaving than i was when i started. The desire is there, the yearning, the needing, but something inside this silly little head of mine has been slowing me down. This needs to change. No more postponing..."This will not stand, man."

So i am setting a date. Enough is enough. "The god damn plane has crashed into the mountain!"

not all who wander are lost

i am wandering through this life just hoping for the things that make me happy...it's not to hard to know what these things are when you find them...suppose it is the search that makes it difficult...so instead of searching i suppose i will keep wandering.

A dust covered window obstructs the view...
and somewhere on the opposite side...a endless sky of blue.
A shattered heart conceals the truth...
a miraculous passion within the depths of you.
A fearful soul disguises the way...
to an endless road of happiness, one can only really know today.
A bitter past shrouds a hopeful future
with the dismal convictions of what cannot be.

Were one to wake each morning with thoughts of only the day ahead.
And lay down to rest with simply the intention of tomorrow.
To forget the mysterious future with thoughts of only here and now.

To never fear tomorrow is to know we can only be alive in this moment.
Silence the shattered heart, for it is your past.
Quiet the fearful soul, for it speaks not for today.
Listen only to the blissful heart for it speaks of what we know to be.
A love we have found within ourselves, a future that is impossible to see.
This very moment in time is all that can matter if a heart is truly allowed to be free.


Molly 2009

figured it out

So for once in my life i think i have really finally figured a few things out. Good things

Goals for the Next year...

Read my friends and realized i should have my own.

1. Go to Vegas, Denver, and Costa rica(for a month) in March.
2. Get a job with southwest airlines.
3. Work on going back to school.
4. Always be myself...no matter what.
5. Love as much as I can...
6. Be passionate about life.

I should just buy this ticket

Holy crap i found a multicity ticket to vegas, denver, costa rica, and back to austin for about $550. i need to just buy this ticket and that will make me bust my ass and save the money that i need to head to costa rica for a month and a week in the other cities. Holy shit!!! I am excited. If the price is the same at the end of the week i am just going to buy it. Hooray me!!!

so costa rica...when shall i see you again.

I have not been able to get into a cedra study or save an obscene amount of money...so costa rica seems to get pushed back over and over again. When will i see it again. It appears it will be sometime this summer...and i will be going even if only for two weeks. I am going to push for april or may. Wish me luck.

I have made a decision

When i get into this study that i have signed up for on next tuesday. And i am sure that i am officially a subject and not a backup. I will be purchasing my ticket to costa rica for late January. That way i will have to get my ass on saving for the trip and have no way of postponing it back month after month. This i believe is a good plan.

could you be loved?

So the results are in...and the word precancerous has reared its ugly little head. While i am reassured that it is mearly PRE...i cannot shake the C-word following it up so closely. i have to say that i am more than a little bit freaked out but i also feel that i am coping rather well. Although part of that coping comes from avoiding thinking about it.

Officially awful days

Doctor's. Ugh. yuck. All i will say is that i do not like the girl doctor.

I wish, I wish, I wish...

For sooo many things right now. For the money to go to Costa Rica, to not have to deal with any problems that start with the C word, Even wishes as simple as getting to spend this evening with a great guy. Maybe even for the desire to write some more poetry, it has been a long time since i've written anything at all.

Why of why wont they let me fly?

So as i and the rest of the country are already aware...the economy is not so good. With our severe dependence on foreign oil we are slipping in so many industries. I am sure that in a year or so our economy will begin to turn around and face the right direction again...well maybe not "SURE" but definatly optomistic about it doing so. The only way in which it is affecting me in my current situation is that things are more expensive and i havent been able to get a job with SWA let alone an interview. But im holding out, knowing that i a year or so they will lift the hiring freeze and i will be on my way "free to move about the county"
As for everything else in my world...it is great. I have a neato new apt that will be costing me less money. I am taking care of a few health issues. And i am dating someone new :)

acl bound

So usually i am super excited about the arrival of ACL and for some reason i am sort of "cool" about this year. I should or would have already been there at this time every year previously. but there really isnt anyone i want to see until about three. Oh and i brilliantly forgot my ticket so i have to return home to retrieve it soon. But first...lunch, coffee, and a few words. I am sure that when i arrive at Zilker the feeling will change and i will be super excited but until then i will continue to be hungover from too much fun last night.
Also...i feel that i overanalyze every aspect of my life. I am continually too hard on myself. I have to say that i am ridiculously happy right now but that i worry too much. I am working on putting those thoughts aside every time they appear but I have been a worrier for so long that i find it a bit difficult of a habit to break. But I quit smoking, which was a hard habit to break, so i am sure that i can accomplish this one as well. Hooray Life!!! Life is pretty freaking awesome.

Ideas that work

So far it seems there is only one puzzle piece missing in my life. Come on puzzle piece! How can the fantastic life of fiery red be the most fantastic successfull life ever if you are not in the puzzle? I know that it will happen. I has already begun to unfold so i just need to wait for the rest of it to fall into place. All the pieces are their they just need to be connected.

How Much

How much coffee can i drink in one sitting. Answer...too much and still counting.
I had a really long day at work and tomorrow is the dreaded double. I am in avoidance of packing the apartment for the big move in 10 days. I am nervous and ridiculously excited about the whole thing.
Cha Cha changes. Moving, The big ACL weekend. Starting a new job. Going back to school. Life, love. Hmmm.
as always leaving things as vague as possible.

Also

I found a great site that allows me to go through all the airlines web pages and check to see who is hiring. :)

the future

Sooo... I have bought my Spanish Immersion course and i have also figured out how much more i need to save in the next few months to head to costa rica for a month. The plan at current is to leave November 19 and return on December 24. I have not yet bought my ticket but i really should. I plan to as soon as I move into my new apartment here in a couple weeks. I need to do a least one more study before i leave in November and that should take care of it.
WooHoo!!! I have to say that i am super excited.
I also am really anticipating getting some sort of information from southwest airlines. I letter. Just something. Come on people at southwest give a girl a chance.

ACL

So i have just recently realized that i am going to be moving the day after ACL weekend...which is a huge bummer. I need time to recoupe from the festivities but alas it appears that will not be the case this year. Ah ACL how i love the. Moving how i loathe thee. New apartment how i anticitpate thee. South Austin how i have missed thee. Too bad i cant move before that weekend. I will somehow try to fenagle a way to do that but if i cannot hopefully my moving buddies will not be suffering the same fate. Thank you to all my moving folks in advance for the help. I shall pack well so that the move is as painless as possible.

who knew...

That i had wireless poolside at my apt complex. So yeah...i should have assumed and checked but i didnt think about it until today. But at least i realized it. Right. :D I am super happy and i cant tell you why. I just am. I see really amazing places and moments ahead in my future and in everyday. I am just smiling and dont know why. It is an awesome feeling i have to say. Sure i feel there are a few things i wnat in life...like everytime a plane flies overhead...or everytime i think of well ...but those are easily changed and just something i need to wait for and i dont mind waitin awhile for some of the most important things in life...they are worth waiting for.

Hot!! NO it really is.

my dog is hot, i am hot(in the conventional sense, i am not being concieted :D)
*chews on ice* I love ice but others say it will ruin my teeth. I guess by that theory i love ruining my teeth *chews on ice*
I wish i could write one of those fantastically funny blogs that everyone has to go read because it makes them laugh on a daily basis, your DAILY DOSE of Fiery Red if you will.
So i have started a journal and Im back up blogging for the world to read *waves* "Hellllooo World" Fiery red likes the world no matter what anyone says about it being mean and evil. I think the only mean and evil come from people who dont like the world.

I want to go to the beach and lay in the sand for awhile, *stares blankly*
I suppose i am the only one stopping me in the dream and the pursuit of sand in my bodily crevasses. But i need that sand darnit. And maybe a cold delicious pina colado to go along with it or something with fresh strawberries and bananas. Wait a freakin minute! Why am i sitting here writing all this instead i should be surfing the web for an awesome sand filled crevasse getaway! Ciao! :D

One Day

So i suppose one day the title of my blog will begin to make sense to even me. At this point i am not writing about every town along the way. I have not been anywhere on a trip in a very long time but soon. I plan on heading back to costa rica for about a month since the last time i was there was not the most awesome time it could have been. But with the idea of moving forward i will go back again and do it right. Enjoy the beach And most of AlL ENJOY MYSELF. Something i have been working very hard on doing lately. ENJOYING MYSELF. I am still waiting for Southwest to call me and i am wondering if i should apply with some other airlines or wait it out since i reeeallly want to work for Southwest specifically.

It is hot here in Texas

The fixing life series

In the next month i need to get my laptop fixed or acquire a new one as cost effectively as possible.
I need to save $500.
Get a pair of kickass boots, cause i want them.
Find another job that is not my lovely mexican restaurant (at least make a valiant attempt at finding one)
Take a camping trip with the dog.
Figure out where i will be going on my next trip, be it two weeks or two months.
And be as happy as I possibly can be.
And Focus on my life and what i want.

the searching for love series

So i have recently decided that it is in my best interest to write down what it is that i want out of life. So that my universe can get to work on bringing it to me. So here goes.

I want to be a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines. I have become discouraged here lately but truth is...this is the airline i want to work for...no other, so why would i go somewhere else to find a job. I will be a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines.


I want to be successful in life, love, friendships, being myself, being kind.

I want to travel the world and see new places and make new friends. I want to do this alone, with my friends, maybe someone special.

I want to be able to do all of this and still love and take care of Liam.

I want my condition to disappear and never come back.

i havent written much lately. But i am in a strange place in my life. I am not sure what direction i am headed. I have sort of lost a spin on things. My car is broken and my world is a mess. I didnt start school on Monday cause i couldnt get there. Hopefully i can get my head on straight and start my life in the right direction. Less drinking, which i havent been doing a lot of and more working and playing. I need to graduate and take a vacation. Then get a job.

Things don't always work out. But we are always going somewhere and everywhere. I am really happy with my world right now. Things aren't perfect but they are close. I am having a great time. And i am ridiculously excited about the things waiting around the corner for me. Because i know they are going to be amazing! It's weird because i feel like my whole world is about to change. I am about to experience more than i ever have before and that is a wonderful feeling. I have no place to look but up. :)

Into the Wild

Amazing Movie, Great company.

p.s... go see it.

El Futuro, El Pasado.

I find that looking back on my life trying figure out what it is that i have learned over the course of my life is strange. It is always hard to believe that one has come so far. Even if I only go back ten years. Amazing. I havent really had an major expectations or asperations for myself so i cannot say that i am disappointed at where i am at. I dont know what is in store but for once i am really excited about it. It changes everyday!

quite obviously, right now i am avoiding the inevitable...studying for my physics test. I have already had one test this morning and in t-minus 3hrs and counting i have another test in Physics. So i really suppose that i should stop typing and go study. And i am sad because i really want to go to gingerman tonight but my friends are mostly busy. So it appears i might have to celebrate alone. :(

What is it about being drunk and having a "fabulous" time that makes people..ie myself make the worst decisions? That is all.

Movies!

Tonight i saw the most awesome, amazing movie. It gave me goosebumps! So lovely and strangely uplifting. Anyways it was called "Once" and if you have not had the pleasure of seeing it DO!

who wants to be a simpson? Oooh oohh i do

I will have what i want

I want a love that is never boring and predictable but is simple. I want love that is amazing and not just easy, the kind of love you never forget no matter how hard you try. I want something that is unbelievably right. I want love that is easy and difficult at the same time. I want time, god how i want time for us, and for me, and for him. I want someone who can easily tell me he needs time without hurting me. I want to love what i do everyday of my life. I want to enjoy every second, every moment i have here. I want to never be angry. I want to see the world. i want time at home, where it is at the time. I want to hurt until I cant take it anymore and then realize my happiness. I want to walk in the rain. I want to feel the sunshine on my face. I want music. I want to inspire people. I want someone to inspire me. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone who loves me so much it hurts and isnt afraid to show me. I want to love someone so much it hurts and not be afraid to show it. I want long hikes. I want camping under the stars. I want endless sunsets. I want to treat someone so incrediably that they cant stand it. I want time with my friends. I want picnics. I want weekends at the beach. I want solitary car rides. I want someone to tell stories to, someone who listens. I want to listen. I want beautiful flowers. I want to fly. I want sleep. I want dreams. I want a neverending love that REALLY never ends. I want second chances. I want to deserve second chances. I want to sip wine. I want to write. I want to always remember. I want to dream. I want to live my dreams. I want a not so perfect love, that wants my not so perfect love.

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you for how you are, not how you look. But deep down, you know that's not exactly true. Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

finally

i finally slept last night for once in a few days. I had the most vivid dreams and i woke up this morning sad. I dont want to be sad. I have to go for a run.

yesterday was insane...school was the biggest hassel. I was enrolled in the wrong class, i had to talk to the dean, then the assistant dean, then the dean again. But i got the issue resolved. And while most of this was going on and pretty much most of the day, i talked to my lovely friend Kimmie. Which helped me quite tremendously in my current circumstances.

I am sooo tired. Tired of dealing with emotional things in my life. And just plain tired. I just want to feel numb right now. Just for a little while.

If love really was like it is in the movies...then i wouldn't be in the place that i am now. And the truth is...I know exactly where it is that i would be.

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Stranger than Fiction...

a really great movie i saw last night. I really enjoyed the screenplay alot. And of course it left me feeling really great when i leaving the theater. Upliftting.

argh...a three mile run and i am exhausted but so is my dog. Life is good.